SplatterPark

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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
Sunday May 4, 2008 at SplatterPark Paintball Games Ltd.
5560 CR 109 Mount Gilead, Ohio 43338

It’s a matter of National Security: Sponsored by Tippmann.

Threat level is severe. Civil disturbance has ensued the random acts of terrorism. Mysterious anomalies are engraving images of violence in everyone’s mind and the thought processes of vigilantes are in effect. The Government has saturated the small town of Mt. Gilead, Ohio with elite special response teams ready to combat the untraceable acts of violence and slaughter of the town’s livestock and abundance of oil being secretly hauled from the area for decades of profit to the people we have never known to exist. At the center of attention is the JT Sports Battle Port; known to some as a top secret debunking area and stepping stone into a world of expendable assassins for our freedom’s benefit. The vortex of the port has been a flurry of strange sightings and hypnotizing light shows that must be the shell from a wormhole coming from a different kind of energy field. Who is coming here and what is this energy that is emulated from our soils? Years of scientific data has proved that the vortex is manufactured from the magnetic fields produced by molten steel revolving within our earth’s core and permeates through the earth’s crust inviting those from other stars to investigate our inhabitants and refuel from our h2o and emp’s generated at the same rate as other key points on our planet. Too much information has leaked throughout the last 60 years and the Government cannot keep these secrets any longer. Our world leaders have agreed to show us the nuts and bolts of life on other planets and what we have shared with them in the decades that precede us. Even though we have our eyes open, we will be at battle with energy that will confuse us and erase all rationale fighting and self-preservation skills. Signs of greed will reign supreme when we fight each other without prejudice until nothing is left standing. With love and One Nation Under God we may just survive this onslaught we are bringing upon ourselves. No laughing at the misfortunes of others when we are all crawling through the same trenches fighting an enemy that is much older and wiser than we are. This ain’t no video game…YOU are the action. Get ready to have the gunfight of your life on Sunday May 4, 2008 at SplatterPark.